Demi Stokes reveals she fought back tears on the orders of her mum at the start of her journey

Don’t you dare cry. Those were the words Demi Stokes recalls being whispered sternly in her ear when her mum marched on to the pitch midway through a game. She was 13 and playing for a girls’ side in South Shields.

‘I got kicked in my knee and it really hurt, then I got kicked in it again soon after and it was bleeding. I really wanted to cry. When I looked up I could see my mam coming on to the pitch and I thought, ‘Buzzing, she’s coming to give me a hug’,’ Stokes says, admitting she doesn’t often talk publicly about her mum, Nicola.

‘She bent down and grabbed my knee and said, ‘Don’t you dare cry’ and then she walked off. I will never forget that. Now whenever I get fouled I always just get up because I think, ‘If my mam was here, I know that’s what she would be telling me’.’

England star Demi Stokes has revealed her mum’s tough love at the start of her football journey

Stokes remembers her mum telling her 'not to cry' during a collision with an opposition player

Stokes remembers her mum telling her ‘not to cry’ during a collision with an opposition player

Stokes believes tough love has given her the drive and durability to succeed in football

Stokes believes tough love has given her the drive and durability to succeed in football

That tough love was a recurring theme during the Manchester City defender’s childhood, at least where her football career was concerned.

‘My family were really supportive and my nan would sometimes take me to football. But a lot of the time I’d get the bus or ride my bike. That’s probably what has driven me to keep going,’ she says, admitting she still hasn’t learned to drive and that bus passengers are often puzzled when she gets on board, asking why she’s not ‘driving some big Range Rover’.

But that humble, laid-back approach is typical of Stokes.

The 28-year-old has won 57 caps for England but says she still gets the bus to training

The 28-year-old has won 57 caps for England but says she still gets the bus to training

‘Sometimes parents will text me (about their daughters) and say, ‘I want her to do this or that’, and I’ll say, ‘Just let her figure it out. If it’s football she wants to do then she’ll do it’,’ adds the 28-year-old, who says her own family’s relaxed approach let her pursue her dream of turning professional.

‘Sometimes I would ring me mam and she’d ask, ‘Where are you?’ and I’d say, ‘I’m in London, we’ve just had a game’,’ she laughs.

‘I didn’t have people in my ear saying, ‘You should get a job’. The 2017 European Championship was the first time I had my family at a tournament. I found it quite difficult to balance the football and spend time with my family. They sometimes haven’t physically been at games and because I’m quite OK with that I’m used to it, it felt weird.’

Stokes, who has 57 senior caps, is learning to enjoy seeing her family in the stands but admits they are not always the ones she’ll turn to after a defeat.

Stokes got her big break with England after leaving Sunderland Ladies for South Florida Bulls

Stokes got her big break with England after leaving Sunderland Ladies for South Florida Bulls

‘Sometimes it’s hard because your family will say, ‘There will be another tournament’, or ‘You made us so proud’,’ she says. But those are the moments when Stokes turns to a former primary school teacher who had a hand in landing her first trials.

Yet, if she hadn’t taken a soccer scholarship at the University of South Florida aged 19, having left Sunderland Ladies, the 2016 Women’s Super League winner says she may not have realised her international ambitions.

‘Getting picked for England came because someone saw me playing in America. Who knows if that would have still happened (without taking the decision to move to Tampa).’

Stokes joined Manchester City in 2015 and has since won give major trophies at the club

Stokes joined Manchester City in 2015 and has since won give major trophies at the club

After crediting the professional and sometimes intense set-up in the US with helping her bridge the gap to professionalism in 2015, Stokes is relishing a return to the Sunshine State for the SheBelieves Cup.

England landed in Orlando on Sunday ahead of the first match of their title defence against old foes USA, before facing Japan and Spain in New Jersey and Texas.

After a bruising World Cup semi-final defeat last summer, Stokes says the Lionesses want to give Vlatko Andonovski’s side something to think about, much like they did in France.

‘We’re not going to twinkle-toe around the USA and see what happens. We want to give them a good game. Although it’s a friendly tournament, we don’t treat it as that. If we don’t come away winning we’ll be really disappointed.

‘We are pushing to become world champions and by putting it out there you can be held accountable as a team. That’s where we probably need to be better. If you look at the men, they get battered. We can’t say we want the good things (that come with the growth of the game) and not the bad.’

Since England’s last international camp in November, Phil Neville has lured Dawn Scott, the famed high-performance coach for the USA, back to home soil.

‘It’s not like we’ve taken a magic pill and now we’re world beaters,’ says Stokes. ‘Dawn has explained that the coaches are the support system but, if we don’t put the hard work in, it’s on us.’

Stokes says England are determined to build on World Cup and win the SheBelieves Cup

Stokes says England are determined to build on World Cup and win the SheBelieves Cup

 

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